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Old-time followers of my blog may remember my post titled Worst Book Titles Ever. I recently saw these old children’s books in Skai’s website, and just had to share. Enjoy, and apologies in advance for my cringe-worthy comments!
There’s a word for that, bad Teddy!
Good for you, Mr. Rogers. Good for you.
The picture kinda gives away the secret, of course.
Honestly, Dick. You’ll lick just about anything, it seems.
What really sells this one is the night cap. And the fascinated look on the girls face. And the embarrassed one on the pig’s.
And that’s three sentences I never thought I’d write.
Erm, sure. Sleep. That’s what we call it down at the pond.
This is wrong on so many levels!
On the plus side, they seem happy to be putting out that fire.
Yep, that happened to me once. I didn’t know elephants liked curry.
I’ll never look at Pinocchio the same way…
If the boy scout on the right’s crying, he’s only got himself to blame, for not using the safe word.“If he doesn’t laugh, the pussy must try someone else.” Many an affair has started that way.
Yep, that’s pretty much my motto, as well.
For a innuendo-free read, you can always read my award-winning children’s book, Runaway Smile for free!
ChristineR said:
Shaking my head, Nicholas! 😮
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Lol – So, you see why I had to share… 😀
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Sue Vincent said:
Way to go, Nicholas… I have tears in my coffee, and a screen splattered with the stuff 🙂
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Lol – I should probably have started with a warning – “grab your tissues before you start reading” or something 😀
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Gina said:
Oh my.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Lol – quite right 😀
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Richard Ankers said:
That should have had a ‘don’t read this whilst drinking’ disclaimer 😉
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
I’m seriously considering adding one 😀
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Richard Ankers said:
Good idea 🙂
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beetleypete said:
A welcome look back to days of innocence. Even now, it will only be the adults, and the ‘PC’ obsessed, who would notice these gaffes. Great fun though.
Thanks Nicholas.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Glad you enjoyed it, Pete 🙂
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philipparees said:
A portrait of pollution- how vision has changed! There is hardly a reason to ‘like’ these but there could be a ‘just Look!’ alternative.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
In a sense, they’re a tribute to a simpler time 🙂
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G. Olivo said:
Hilarious post! 🙂
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Thanks – and welcome! 🙂
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vanbytheriver said:
OMG..and before my breakfast. Be still, my laughing heart ! I have to say, these are golden, as is your commentary !! What were the authors/illustrators thinking ??
p.s. The last one…guys I knew out in the wild west of Utah used to refer all the time to each other as “sheep f’ckers”. It’s a thing. Among lonely cowboys. Apparently. Sorry to share that one. ☺
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Lol – oh my! It’s that old joke all over again – “Australia, where men are men and sheep are real nervous,” isn’t it?
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vanbytheriver said:
Never heard that one, but it makes sense to me now. ☺
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macjam47 said:
O-M-G ! !
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Catherine Mackay said:
Ok, ah, I think I’m just speechless right now – these are v-e-r-y scary children’s books, lol 🙂
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Lol – but think of the morals they teach. That last one in particular, was golden…
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Charles Yallowitz said:
This makes me laugh every time I see it. Don’t even think context would save most of these.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
My favorite one was the last one. So hard to think of a face-saving context there 😀
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Charles Yallowitz said:
Yeah. There’s no other way to take that one.
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Richard said:
aah yes, how times have changed. People could get arrested for these nowadays!
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
How true! Although part of me thinks, “rightly so” 😀
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Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life. said:
Those were the days when non PC meant that your guttering was not plastic coated! I collected the Golly Wogs off jars of jam for years and you would be banned from FB for using those words now. A more innocent time.. or was it?
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
I often wonder about that myself 🙂
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M. Howalt said:
Oh no … Hahaha. Thanks for this laugh!
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Lol – glad to have provided it, then 🙂
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John W. Howell said:
Had to laugh. Didn’t want to but had to laugh.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Lol – I know what you mean 😀
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John W. Howell said:
Sheep was priceless.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
My favorite, too 😀
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Let's CUT the Crap! said:
Cringe worthy is right, but I can’t stop laughing.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Lol – I know what you mean 😀
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Sue Coletta said:
Erm…no comment.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Lol – probably the best course of action 😀
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noelleg44 said:
These get four icks from me. Those days of innocence are long gone – I think even children would get the innuendo now, ubnfortunately.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Icks is a much better standard than stars, isn’t it? 😀
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masgautsen said:
Hahaha. This is so funny, it’s weird reading children’s books as adults sometimes.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Weird… Scary… take your pick 😀
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D. Wallace Peach said:
OMG. Those are awful. Had me laughing though.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
It’s one of those “I don’t want to laugh, but can’t help myself” situations, isn’t it? 😀
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D. Wallace Peach said:
No kidding. I’m just amazed that no one caught it. As the author or illustrator, I’d be mortified.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Perhaps people were not so worried about innuendo back then?
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lizgavin said:
Hahaha And I thought I wrote naughty books. Thanks for posting this, Nicholas. It took a HUGE load off my shoulders. What a relief. LOL
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lizgavin said:
Reblogged this on Liz Gavin's Blog and commented:
My friend and fellow author Nicholas Rossis posted this today and I HAD to share. It’s good to know naughty books have a long tradition. HAHAHA
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coldhandboyack said:
Nicholas, I think you’re winning at the internet today. These are so funny I’m going to send it to my mother.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Lol – just make sure these are not the books she used to read you! 😀
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Erika Kind said:
That’s old books… I cannot believe that no one found that a little… in appropriate. Unbelievable.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Maybe those were simpler times 🙂
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Erika Kind said:
Say it as it is: We simply have dirty minds… 😊
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Lol – fair enough 😀
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Erika Kind said:
😁
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Allie P. said:
Wrong…. so very wrong…
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Lol – yep 😀
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utahrob said:
And my editor bitches about semicolons and deletes serial commas.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Lol – then again, you probably never wrote, ” ‘better a morning of awkwardness that an evening of loneliness,’ the boy said. ‘Beeh,’ the sheep bleated in response.” 😀
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BarbarianWriter said:
Though I’ve never heard of the game, I think I played “Poor Pussy” when I were a lad.
Maybe these are why our generation is so… liberated? Perverse? lol
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Lol – See? It all makes sense now 😀
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purpleslobinrecovery said:
We played it as Poor Kitty. These are just wrong!! Poor cow, pig, kitty, and horse!
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Lol – poor kitty does sound better… 😀
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familyrulesbyplainjane said:
O.M.G.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
😀
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Celine Jeanjean said:
Oh I don’t know whether to cringe or laugh!!
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
I did both 😀
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Effrosyni Moschoudi said:
Bless you, I needed to laugh!
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Lol – thanks! 🙂
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