Getting people — and kids, in particular — to read and write has long been a passion of mine. You may remember my post, Reading Tricks for Kids of Any Age, originally written for Mom’s Favorite Reads.
Well, I recently came across an article by Abigail Elijah of Knowledge Isle with 20 tips for developing your kid’s writing skills which inspired me to write up a new post, this one on the subject of getting your child to write. I hope you find these tips useful!
12 Ways to Develop your Kid’s Writing Skills
Seven out of ten children find writing particularly challenging. What can we do to support them and help develop their writing skills?
1. Read
One of the most important things you can do for your kids’ writing skills, is to encourage and develop their passion for reading.
Writing is different than speaking. Abigail shares this anecdote:
A few months back, I traveled to Egypt. An old man asked me, “how can your kids speak English language so fluently?” I softly replied, “Sir, just like your kids can speak Egyptian so fluently and we cannot”.
While speaking, you don’t have to spell the words. We don’t worry when words sound alike but spelled differently, e.g hair & here, there & their, etc. While speaking, we convey our meaning through gestures, raising voices, body language, etc. We can pause, whisper, or shout for dramatic effect. But writing has none of that.
That makes writing a much harder, complicated, and challenging task.
While writing, a good writer can shout or whisper by varying their sentence structure and using classy vocabulary and imagery.
Your kid can improve this quality through extensive reading. The more they read, the more they’ll develop a mature sense of language.
Fairy tales and inventive stories like Cinderella are great for kids. They help them gain the experience they will need to create their stories. They’ll learn to create a plot, speak in various tones through writing, and create whole fictional worlds.
2. Praise your kid’s writing
Admiration and encouragement are the most effective ways of stimulating your kids to keep writing.
A little praise can go a long way. Be sure to give specific positive feedback instead of a general comment. For example, say:
I love the way you portray the event, especially your description of the birthday party balloons and music. I felt like I was having a party with you.
This works much better than a simple, “great story.” Empathize with your child and remember that, just like all writers, she wants more than anything to amaze you with her masterpiece.
Display their writing and drawing art in different parts of your home.
Show these pieces to relatives with a gesture of appreciation. Put their work on the refrigerator, kitchen walls or anywhere in the home. This will encourage your children to share their work with others.
3. No need for perfection
Remember that old saying, if you want to do something, do it right? Well, forget it.
This perfectionist mindset is terrible for authors, let alone children learning how to write. Facing a blank page is hard enough. Asking them to produce a perfect story turns it into an unsurpassable hurdle.
In the beginning, when your child’s writing is taking off, you just have to build up their confidence; not improve their writing.
All they need at this stage is your approval and admiration. After they start thinking of themselves as a writer, they’ll be keen to do it in a better way. When that happens, make sure to ask first if she is comfortable if you make some suggestions. Be gentle and age-appropriate about it. For example, ask:
What would happen if your teddy went to the forest instead of returning home?
Instead of:
How it will synchronize with the structure of your story if your protagonist were to follow Act One with another adventure?
Always encourage your kids to write, not to write perfectly. Time and practice will make their writing perfect.
4. Don’t stress about grammar
This is related to the above. Try to be less concerned about grammar in their writing as they are just trying to write. Stressing about grammar will only frustrate them at this stage.
We learn to speak naturally by ear, then learn to write grammatically correct while we read. Kids who struggle with grammar will fast lose their interest in writing.
The best way to learn grammar is to read a lot, and that will only happen with time.
5. Write yourself
Children will follow our example in whatever we do. Use this to your advantage. Keep a diary, write your family history, write some poetry or letters. Any kind of writing you’d enjoy. When your kids see how much you enjoy writing, they will want to emulate you.
6. Allow them their tastes
Your kid will most likely have a different style of writing than you.
Every kid uses their own thinking style, metaphors, and descriptions. Your little angel may want to write a gross story about death, murders, vampires, or a story where everybody is desperate. Kids with a poetic sense may write silly and childish poems. Sometimes, it will feel like they’re actively trying to provoke you (which may well be the case).
There is no need to worry. Just wait until this initial stage passes. Be appreciative instead of critical. It’s a blessing that your kids share any kind of writing with you.
Just like reading, every kid favors a different flavor of writing. Don’t insist they follow your tastes. Instead, encourage them to write whatever they enjoy. Mostly there are three kids of young writers:
First, those who love to write descriptively and try to write personal records and poetry.
Second, those who are perceptive and write character-full stories and influential essays.
Third, those who are enthralled with factual information and history and try to write difficult plots painted with accurate historical detail.
It doesn’t matter which type of writer your child is. Continuous writing will help them become versatile writers.
7. It all starts with a drawing
Remember that writing can take many forms. Young children love to write with crayons on their books or even on walls. While it makes sense that you will want to limit the amount of destruction on your home, reward and appreciate such little attempts. Steer them gently toward writing on paper but also praise a beautiful sentence, even if it’s written on a wall.
To help save your house, have writing stuff easily available.
Have plenty of pencils, markers, erasers, crayon colors, chalk, or anything they enjoy drawing with. Give them loads of paper to write on.
8. Listen to them
Let your children talk about their day. Encourage them to tell you about their interests.
The strongest inspiration for writing is believing you are saying something worthwhile.
So start listening even to tiny details of your kid’s life when they want to talk with you. For example, say you have the following conversation with your son:
You: What did you do in class today?
Kid: We had a color day, everybody was wearing orange color.
Now try to engage him more so that he elaborates about his day’s activities in further detail. The trick is to show him that you are a concerned and attentive listener while avoiding a barrage of direct questions. So don’t get bored while doing this. Stay quiet for a while to listen to him. If he doesn’t say anything, then ask him about his experience. Did he enjoy it? Was he bored? This kind of attention will give your child the ability to focus on details and emotions.
Listen to your kid. Whatever they want to say, just listen.
Even you can see clearly that you disagree with what they are saying, just respectfully listen to your child. This will boost their confidence. Once children assume that their parents have no respect for what they have to say, they’ll stop sharing. Unfortunately, they will think that they have nothing to say of value.
9. Help them with the sound of different words
A basic skill of a good writer is an understanding of cadence, rhythm, and the sound of words. Help your child develop this skill by making up silly sentences.
Sing those sentences with your children. Read them out loud. Get them to feel the fun part of languages. All this will help them develop a sense of rhythm in their writing.
10. Allow them their feelings
Children will speak honestly and vividly. However, what they say may bother you. Maybe your little daughter tells you that she hates going to school. Resist the temptation to scold her. She can’t change the way she feels, so she’ll only feel guilty or get angry. Try to acknowledge her feelings and discuss what’s bothering her.
Avoid censoring her and her feelings. Instead, encourage her to put those feelings into words.
Learning how to deal with their feelings will not only help children become well-rounded adults, it will also help them write about them in the future.
11. More than one way
We teach children that there is a certain way to do things. Problem is, kids will usually come to think that is the only right way to do things.
So, when their teachers teach them to write in a particular way, they’ll stick to it.
You should gradually eliminate this thinking so that your child can develop diverse thinking ways. Be gentle, and try to say things like “I think there are many other ways to do that thing.” Try to make your child’s thinking open-minded and flexible.
12. Respect their privacy
Finally, respect your child’s privacy. Never read her writing without her permission.
This includes both diaries and notes in her notebook, textbooks, and school papers. Not even notes from her friends.
If you want to read, express your interest to do so without insisting. This will encourage them to write whatever crosses their mind, without worrying about others reading it.
[tweetthis]12 Ways to Develop your Child’s Writing Skills[/tweetthis]
Carl D'Agostino said:
I remember father as he sat on the floor with me and coloring with crayons. He taught me to write my name. Then he would read the Sunday funnies (cartoons) to me. I learned but what I remember and cherish most that he took the time to spend with me no matter how tired he was from days of hard work.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
That’s a wonderful story, Carl! Thank you for sharing 🙂
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kimwrtr said:
Reblogged this on Kim's Musings.
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Charles Yallowitz said:
I’m amazed how often people fight against 3 and 4 with kids. Know at least one parent that does this for both reading and writing. Causes the kid to get angry and give up for a while.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
To be honest, I’d give up, too if I were in that kid’s place. My dad is like that; always a perfectionist. Thankfully, the long hours he put in his work meant that my mom was responsible for things like reading and writing, and she had a far more lenient approach 🙂
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Charles Yallowitz said:
Kids who get the lenient parent more often are probably lucky. Pretty sure perfectionism foisted on children is a top 10 creator of anxious adults.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Not to mention children’s suicides, which are apparently at an all-time high. A sadder statistic I’ve never known.
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Charles Yallowitz said:
What age range does that cover? I know we hear more about how bullying leads to it in our news.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
I’m afraid I can’t look it up at the moment but I came across it the other day. Maybe the Washington Post? I’ll let you know if I can find the article again.
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Charles Yallowitz said:
I’m guessing teens. I always think elementary age when I see the word ‘children’.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
That makes sense.
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Pingback: 12 Ways to Develop your Child’s Writing Skills — Nicholas C. Rossis | When Angels Fly
wilfredbooks said:
Very valid, Nicholas. I think all children are naturally creative, and have a natural propensity for writing, but that can be stifled by parents not taking them seriously, which is a shame. All creativity should be encouraged, not least writing! Cheers, Jon 🙂
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Couldn’t agree more, Jon. Unfortunately, it’s not just the parents who can make this mistakes. Our entire educational system seems geared toward crushing that creativity, at least in Greece.
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wilfredbooks said:
Reblogged this on Wilfred Books and commented:
Encourage your children’s writing and creativity. They will thank you!
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beetleypete said:
Good tips indeed. I would cite writing with them as one of the most important.
Be creative together! 🙂
Best wishes, Pete.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Couldn’t agree more, Pete! Doing things together has all sorts of benefits, not least of which getting to spend some quality time with your loved ones!
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The Story Reading Ape said:
Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog.
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robertawrites235681907 said:
An excellent post, Nicholas. There is nothing as important as teaching kids the joy of reading and writing.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Couldn’t agree more, Roberta! Well said.
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Unchaptered said:
This is such an important post. There’s a lot you can take from it to apply in other areas of raising children, not just reading and writing. I think the most important note for me was the part about not censoring their feelings. As adults, we see ourselves as moral guides for children so we assume we must correct their every sentence, but we need to remember that feelings need to be expressed without the need for censoring. They’ll work things out for themselves in the end, or there’ll be another chance to teach them.
Really enjoyed reading this post Nicholas.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
I’m so glad you enjoyed the post, thank you! It took me a lot of hours to prepare, so it’s nice to see it appreciated. And you’re absolutely right; we feel we must guide our children at all times, and that means correcting them when they make a mistake. It’s actually far more important to love them, I’ve come to realize.
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Unchaptered said:
Definitely. There’s is nothing stronger than love when it comes to guiding your children. And the effort you put in to this post certainly shows, I’m sure it resonates with others as it did with me
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Thanks for making my day 🙂
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OIKOS™-Publishing said:
Great information, Nicholas! Only learning without stress will bring best results. Michael
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Couldn’t have put it better, Michael! Thank you 🙂
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OIKOS™-Publishing said:
🙂🙂
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Bette A. Stevens said:
Reblogged this on Bette A. Stevens, Maine Author and commented:
GREAT TIPS from NIcholas Rossis for teachers, parents and adults everywhere! WE CAN ALL CONTRIBUTE to childhood literacy: Developing a child’s writing skills… ~ Bette A. Stevens, https://www.4writersandreaders.com
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Jacquie Biggar said:
I wish they hadn’t cut phonics from schools. My daughter was reading and writing before she started school because I taught her to sound words out, and she did the same for her son (who LOVES to read!)
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
I learned the same way, I wasn’t aware they’d cut phonics from school. Strewth…
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Jacquie Biggar said:
Yes, now it’s all a memory game 😦
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
A memory game–I love that!
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petespringerauthor said:
I used many of these strategies as a teacher in elementary school. I always wrote when my students wrote. It teaches them that there is value in writing, and I wanted my students to look forward to it as much as I did. Allowing time to share their writing is crucial too.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Thank you for sharing your experience, Pete! I hope my daughter’s lucky enough to have a teacher like you!
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Sumita Tah said:
Reblogged this on English Literature and Grammar and commented:
This is a great post on developing a passion for writing in children by Nicolas C. Rossis.
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Don Massenzio said:
Reblogged this on Author Don Massenzio and commented:
Check out this post with 12 Ways to Develop your Child’s Writing Skills from Nicholas Rossis’ blog.
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Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life. said:
I was very lucky to have two sisters 10 and 11 years older than me, who read to me every night and let me tag along after them all the time. This meant I was listening to conversations way above my pay grade and increased my vocabulary extensively, not always with positive results. But I do think that it encouraged me to read more advanced books quicker than I might have. I have not stopped reading or writing since. Terrific post thank you..
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Thank you, Sally! I had to chuckle at “not always with positive results” 😀
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Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life. said:
My mother always had soap handy and my mouth was washed out a couple of times xx
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Lol 😀
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Pingback: Smorgasbord Blogger Daily – Friday December 6th 2019 #Reading/Writing Nicholas Rossis, #Afghanistan Mary Smith, #Writing Tips Shelley Wilson with Owen Mullen | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine
Jennie said:
Excellent, Nicholas. You hit a home run with #1, Read. And #8, Listen to them. It’s all about language and literacy. That’s the foundation for writing.
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markbierman said:
Excellent post!
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Thank you, Mark! Took me ages to write, so I’m thrilled that people are enjoying it 🙂
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roughwighting said:
Excellent, excellent list! I have shred this link with many friends and family members for reference and suggestions. This list has it all!
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Yay! Thank you so much for sharing. It was a hard article to put together, so it’s great to see you enjoyed it 🙂
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roughwighting said:
Thanks for all the work you did – much appreciated!
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Ehsan Sh said:
I’m not a kid but I think this post is for me too, I have two reasons for it, first, I have a little son and second, I learned that I can learn English as a foreign language in adulthood in the same way that kids learn their native languages. So, I created a weblog(http://ehsandiary.home.blog) and started writing in it. I’d appreciated you if you visit it and help me.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Your comment seems perfectly written so learning English the way kids do seems to work 🙂
Thanks for the link!
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francisashis said:
Very helpful tips to make kids write more and the different skills that need to be followed to make them love writing are also very interesting. Thanks a lot madam for sharing .🌹🙏
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Thank you! I’m not a madam, but I’m still glad you enjoyed the post 🙂
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francisashis said:
OMG!That was a blunder,Sir I didn’t do it deliberately and I apologize for that.You are most welcome sir.🙏🙏🙏🙏
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Lol–no worries 🙂
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francisashis said:
So nice of you sir.🙏🌹
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Tim Connolly said:
It takes time to develop strong writing skills, and it can be a tough task to accomplish. Thankfully, there are many things that parents can do at home to help improve children’s writing skills. Thanks for sharing your valuable knowledge.
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
I completely agree, Tim! Thanks for the comment 🙂
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Haroon Mirza said:
Very informative
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Nicholas C. Rossis said:
Thank you, Haroon. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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